Well... it's 2011. Did you accomplish everything you wanted? Was it everything you thought it would be? It's been a very interesting year... and I have learned quite a bit. So here's my end-of-the-year entry, recapping everything, in intimate detail. A short, but sweet, glimpse into my rollercoaster of a life that I lead. I hope you're ready.
In 2010, I....
-Got back together with my long-term boyfriend on January 4, 2010. We had our own personal New Year's celebration after a scare, and he promised he would never doubt his feelings for me again.
-Made it on the Dean's List for the first time since starting college.
-Continued to wait tables at a pittance for pay... making bank and developing a hefty shopping problem ;)
- Made my first visit to sunny Las Vegas, NV and fell head over heels in love with the scortching, dry heat. I was born for 113 degree, zero humidity weather!
-Got to experience the magic of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter with my mom and auntie, one of the best vacations of my life.
-Experiened what it feels like to hit rock bottom. Being diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety was a huge low point in my life. Knowing my own happiness was out of my control was something I never thought I'd ever have to deal with. Feeling hopeless, worthless, like nothing mattered. Like I had no purpose... when simply breathing was something I could barely face. Adding to the fact that I refused to take medication for it... and being diagnosed with Adult Attention Deficet as a result of that. Watching my grades slip... not going to class because I simply didn't see a point anymore. I couldn't find the purpose behind it, so I laid in bed all day. I'd run the shower, and sit at the bottom under the stream of water for hours, letting the stream disguise my tears.... it was not pretty. I didn't know who to turn to, so I turned inward.... and found inner strength I didn't know I had.
-I woke up one day and realized how much value I had. I'm beautiful. I'm funny. I'm a unique, talkative character... and I'll be damned if I let ANYONE bring me down.
-I was betrayed by the person I cared for more than anyone else. I had my heart broken, crushed, decimated, destroyed, spat on... and I didn't think anything could hurt so badly. It was like part of me went missing. I honestly was amazed that my heart could continue beating after all the pain and destruction I experienced... but it did. And everyday it gets easier. And everyday I continue to have hope for the future, that maybe someday I can let someone in again.
-I got my very first tattoo, and love it. I love looking down and having a reminder of my strength.
-I struck someone out of anger for the first time in my life. It's not something I'm proud of, or something I want to repeat. It just.. happened. It scared me more than anything.
-I realized you don't fall out of love... love simply fades away.
This year, I've met some amazing people... and some old faces... that have greatly influenced my life and kept me truckin' along through the most difficult year I've ever had.
Above everyone else, my mother. She keeps me strong, and keeps my head on my shoulders. I would be lost without her.
My brother, who tells me how things are, and isn't afraid to tell me if I'm making the wrong decision.
My daddy... who doesn't even let me forget that I'm always going to be his little girl :)
Dave Duncan... who made me more angry than anyone else I've ever met... but he still helped me realize how worth while I am, and for that I'm grateful.
Rachael Johnson... for putting up with my stubborn ass on a daily basis.
Jimmy Flaherty... who helps me make good decisions, and has been a pillar of strength for me in a way he doesn't even realize.
Mitchell Skajewski... who continues to be my stronghold and support, even without seeing me or spending time with me. Always someone that can lift me up and remind me that I'm someone that's special, unique, and beautiful.
Stephanie Nienhaus... someone I should, by all rights and respects, loathe to the very core... but is the person who made me realize that forgiveness, though harder than hate, is something to aspire to. And be proud of.
Jazmin Shipley... for making me smile when I'd rather punch someone in the face, ha.
Now what? The year is over.... and I can only hope to beat out the shittiness of this past year.
My goals for 2011?
-Take up yoga, for physical fitness and inner peace.
-Get reinvolved in the performing arts. Something I've always cherished and been good at, but have let slide through the cracks.
-Learn to love again. Learn to trust again.
Happy New Year ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment